A new way to look at life!

I read a blog that is written by a different widow everyday, I really find comfort there when I find that what I am feeling and going through is "normal". Last week there was a post that really got me and made me look at life in a new way. A way I find a lot of Peace and connection to.

Here is a part of that blog that I really liked, it talked about the deceased husband as becoming an abstract part of your life as you move on. 

I have thought a lot lately of how to separate my life now and what I feel with the past . Here it was described exactly as I feel. My love for Corey and missing him is felt in the back ground, He has become a comfortable part of my life. I still hear him giving me advice and feel him watching and protecting me. The pain I feel of his loss is part of our relationship and it will always be there. The fact that I hurt so much and still love him proves that he was an amazing man. As I grow and move on this becomes a separate spot in my brain and heart. Its a comforting companion. And at the same time being able to separate this past love allows me to be happy and move on, to live again, to love again, to create a second chapter of life. I'm ready, I want this. I can love him forever in my heart and find another love and be able to combine the 2 to move forward. I do want another love eventually. There is a couple people I would like to explore my feelings with. I have waited and I am so glad I did, I feel that waiting until I feel completely ready means respecting myself, Corey, my past and my future. I didn't want to go into something new until I felt I could separate my feelings and still respect what was. This blog has shown me that I all ready have I just needed a way to express it. 

I am so happy right now. Life is amazing and I am so grateful for everything I have, the amazing family and friends I have and for the love that I had with Corey. I would not be the peaceful, happy, loving person I am now with out the past, I am going to embrace it and move forward with it and the knowledge it has given me. I am a better person because of it. I value life and love and commitment so much. I know what is important and will have better future relationships because of it. Its time to start the baby steps and I am so excited and ready. I can do this and I have the most awesome guardian angel standing beside me cheering me on. 

Peaceful, Content, Excited.