Lonliness???

Everyone always says the hardest thing to deal with is the lonliness. So far I don't think I agree.
Corey was sick and on disability for 10 years. We did everything, and I mean everything together. We were always together.
When he died I started to realize how much our lives were combined and I had no clue how to live without him. The last couple years have been about me finding myself and figuring out what I want and need. I'm figuring it out, I like who I am and where I am in life.
The thing I miss is, having someone to talk to that knows me, knows how I think and all my little quirks. Someone that listens and will tell me,  "your freaking nuts, quit thinking everything to death, or will agree and back up what I'm thinking and feeling".

Someone that doesn't have any motivaton or manipulation behind what they are helping me figure out. I don't know when it happened but sometime in the last 5 or so years I started thinking like a girl and I don't like it. Its too damn confusing and emotional. I miss having a sensible mans opinion. Now don't get me wrong... I am smart and can figure things out. I am good at thinking and processing things. What I miss is someone that helps me figure out all the emotional crap. So am I lonley? I don't think so, not really. I'm happy and love my life and what I am discovering. Maybe I just need to find a male to talk to that will tell me when I'm thinking like some lunitic emotional crazy person!


A few hours after I wrote this... What the hell am I thinking? (a sensible man ?.?.. )